New York New York

I’m sooo craving for the New York New York sandwich from Almon Marina! I used to have it all the time, especially when I used to go to Fitness First in WestGate. And I can’t have it now because  Manila is thousands of miles away.

*sigh* That’s the downside of being away from home. No matter how good you have it here, home will always offer more. Not just food, mind you, but the comfort that being in your home turf can bring. The familiarity of everything you know just gives you confidence. And I think you’ll only fully realize it once you’re away.

I think it’s part of human nature to want to go away, start anew, try a new life. But being home – nothing can beat that.

Blank days

How sad is it that the only events on my Gmail Calendar are the days marked for my news duty? 😛 This February, so far, the only thing I have to look forward to are two alternating weeks of duty, three days of which I’ll be waking up at four AM so I can be picked up by our company van at 5 in the morning.

On the upside, I like doing morning news because 1) duty finishes at 10 am (whoopee!) and 2) it pays an extra $14.50 a day. And when money’s tight, any extra income is good.

Speaking of money, I’ve been tasked to collect money so we can buy toto tickets for the hongbao draw. Hongbao draw = $10 million pot. Hope we get lucky! And this *lucky* assignment was given to me because during a mahjong game with my friends/colleagues, I had beginner’s luck. Heh. Hope that holds for toto as well!

Meanwhile, I’m so glad for this weekend. It’s time to veg out and pop in the season finale DVD of Grey’s Anatomy (sad, I’m only on season four).

I need a break.

Succession

With everything that’s going on in Philippine politics now, it is no wonder that initiatives are being formed to see reforms and accountability in government.

Just last Friday, February 15, a massive rally was again staged seeking the resignation of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo over allegation corruptions posed against her husband, Mr. Jose Miguel “Mike” Arroyo, as well as some of her allies in the NBN-ZTE broadband internet deal.

If these allegations are true, and especially if Mdm President was aware of all the improprieties, bribes, and kickbacks, she truly deserves to be kicked out of her office.

However, at the same time, one thing worries me. Who will replace her? An equally corrupt, and a much less qualified man in the person of our vice president, Noli de Castro?

And after that, what’s next? A succession of politicians who are just as, if not more, corrupt than her and her allies?

Just as the song says, all we need is love. In this case, not romantic love, but true love for the country, that will supersede any and all personal ambitions from the highest politician in the land to the lowliest of civil and public servants that will enable them to put the country’s welfare above and beyond their greed and corruption.

V-Day

Valentine’s Day has never been a special occasion for us, save for one year when he surprised me with a bouquet of flowers and a cake that he ordered online.

A couple of days ago, we were talking about it, and I mentioned that I wasn’t expecting anything from him since it’s never been our practice anyway. I don’t buy him Valentine’s Day gifts either. At the most, all we do is greet each other the usual V-day greetings, share a kiss, and that’s it.

I actually think it would be nicer to bring on the romance on any other random day, and not on a socially-prescribed-got-to-be-romantic day like February 14. I have nothing against most couples worldwide who actually do celebrate it on this day. However, I do think it’s more romantic to just be sweet because you feel like it and not because you feel like you have to be.

Gotta say though, receiving anything from your Significant Other — on Valentine’s Day or otherwise — counts for something special in my book! Be it flowers, chocolates, a nice book he knows you’ve been longing to read, a massage, preparing a nice meal for you when it’s not normally his job…it just means they’re thinking of you and want to make you happy. And isn’t that what romance should be all about?

Godspeak

Did God send me a message today? I was blowdrying my hair earlier, and out of the blue, as clear as day, this thought rang in my head:

“Choose your battles wisely.”

So timely and so profound, it must be God’s way of helping me through. Hope I can always keep it in mind.

Songs

I’m listening to Ligaya by Eraserheads right now, and I really find it amazing how much certain songs can bring back very specific memories because you were listening to it at a particular time. For instance, Ligaya reminds me of a time when my sisters and I were waiting at our car at the Folk Arts theatre parking lot, waiting to watch a magic show with our parents on either Christmas or New Year’s day.

Humanap Ka ng Panget was played endlessly on Magic 89.9 on Christmas Day when it was released.

I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing reminds me of the last day that I was with The Boy in 1998 before he left to study in the States.

More Than Words — my first year high school anthem, this reminds me of me and my classmates after our retreat, and we went to Alabang to watch a movie (Terminator 3, if I’m not mistaken!)

Heaven Knows — I was sitting at the back of the bus after our outreach program in Muntinlupa, and my classmates were singing this with much aplomb.

Fixing a Broken Heart — my high school best friend’s favorite song, this also reminds me of watching Sa Linggo Napo Sila.

Voltes V Theme Song — this always reminds me of my older sister because when we were kids, she had memorized this and people would keep asking her to sing it.

Vision of Love — reminds me of my sisters and my then-little cousin when we took a vacation in the States and my sister first got a DiscMan and CDs were almost spanking brand new. This also reminds me of the House Party theme CD, and MC Hammer (lol!)

King & Queen of Hearts/Gotta Believe in Magic — reminds me of a former special friend, and endless nights on the phone singing. 🙂

The Remedy, Dream of Me — memories of 2003 and months spent crying. Boo! They’re still my favorites though, because even if they remind me of bad times, they also remind me of how these songs reaaaaally helped me to survive, and how finally, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

Informer — 2nd year summer dance lessons at the Pilar Pavilion. Good times.

1-2 Step, Crazy in Love — Body Jam!!

Ah, songs, gotta love ’em.

Manners tip from the stars

Got this from my horoscope today. Too often, I fall into this trap since I feel uncomfortable during awkward silences, especially around people I’m not that close to. This is a fantastic tip, and one that I should remember daily.

Be careful of opening your mouth in situations in which it simply isn’t appropriate to do so, ELLEN. You may find that the conversation comes to a lull and you feel it is your duty to pipe up about something – anything. By doing so, you may launch the conversation onto a topic that is simply not called for. You may want to say something just so you can turn the focus on to you. The better choice is to simply allow the silence to sit peacefully.

overprotected

I am way too overprotected. Redundant, much? But it’s true, and I say it again. I am way too overprotected. My parents really don’t like it when I go out at night (something I do very rarely), and if I do, they just feel more comfortable if I have a driver with me. The Boy, meanwhile, doesn’t want me going out at night here in Manila anyway. (Side note: when I was in Singapore, it was fine that I went back to my place at 3am, but here, in my hometurf, he would rather not have me see the dark of night from the outside. Go figure.)

But I can understand. Manila isn’t really the safest place to be in, particularly for a young woman, alone at night. I don’t know if I’ve just been brainwashed to be very wary of being out at night, but I myself would rather not drive by myself late at night. Tonight, though, I was out with my friends, and I rue the fact that I needed to go home early because I was still having a lot of fun. For a lot of people my age, 12 midnight is early. For my parents, that’s late. For The Boy, I shouldn’t have been out at all. For me, I wish I could just have had a bit more fun. Oh well.

There’s something brewing inside me. Some words and emotions that need to be expressed, but I can’t find the words. I don’t know if I ever will, or if they will just remain unspoken.

Me, work?

You know what I think is part of the problem why I don’t have a job yet? Passion. I don’t really feel passionately about any job out there. I like writing, but I’m not passionate about it. It would be nice to work with computers, but it’s the same thing. I would love to work in radio, but I won’t die if I don’t.

I’m not really a career woman. The corporate world scares me. I would be perfectly content to stay at home, and do what I’ve been doing for the past year or so. Perhaps one of the reasons why I’m still at home is because subconsciously, I don’t want to let go of it yet. I don’t want to be out of my comfort zone yet, one where I can be myself and do what I want. I don’t want to be tied to obligations and not be free to come and go and do as I wish.

So truth be told, I don’t really *want* to work. I feel like I have to work, because of the expectation that I *should.* It scares me, though, that I don’t have the drive, the ambition. But really, all I want is a simple life, and the one that I see in the future is that of me being married and taking care of my husbands and kids.

But in the meantime? We’ll see.